Kovixen

Shots. They are evil. Anderson is cranky, his legs hurt, he seems constipated maybe (a new thing for him), and he's much more tired than normal. Is there sleeping medicine in the tylenol? I am afraid tonight might be bad. Like he may wake up. Bleh. I know this won't last long, but any potentially bad nights scare me so much. I need my sleep, I can't function without it.

He has also grown beyond belief. Four pounds in a month. That's right, 4lbs!!! He's now 14lb 6oz. That's a lot of baby to carry around, especially when he's in his infant seat and I'm dragging him around Warren RI for a funeral. Peter had to be a pall bearer (which was very nice of him), so he didn't sit with me in the church. That was probably a good thing since I was able to be distracted and not think about how I was at my grandmother's funeral. But leaving, I was standing right in front of the casket as the pall bearers were picking it up to bring it down the church steps, and I was holding this baby seat, trying my best not to cry, and it was awful. I hate being a grown up. I wanted to put Andy down, sit on the floor and bawl like I was five years old. Instead I held my breath, my lower lip quivered, and I acted like an adult. It blew.

Overall, the two days were ok. I hate open caskets, I sort of felt that my grandmother should get up and say hi to everyone. I mean, I'm lazy, but even I don't sleep when people come to see me. I met a few people I have met before and don't remember, and I saw much of my family. I ate a ton of good food my Aunt Nancy made, and I showed off Anderson to everyone. I think my father cried too, which I've never seen before. The whole thing was just weird. And now I'm back home and life is as it was. That is the weirdest part, it's like nothing has changed. I don't think it's hit me that Nana isn't coming back.