Kovixen

I'm in the market for new jeans. My hips have gotten too big for the elastic waist. I now need one of those big panel ones. You know, the scary ones with the big pouch in front. I'll feel like a kangaroo. But I can't wear my current jeans for many tasks, like bending over, sitting straight up, basically anything except laying down and standing up. I tried going to oldnavy.com (because I wear short jeans and they don't exist in any maternity sections), and of course they have short ones in every size but mine. Lovely, so I try gap.com, but they are asking for specific sizes. Do I wear a 4 or a 6 in Gap jeans? I haven't worn a pair of their pants in about 6 years, so I have no idea. I think I'm just going to buy about 4 pairs, and hopefully in there is a pair that fits. It will be nice to fit into my jeans again, but really, I feel sort of large for having to buy new ones. Damn the hips spreading. Why can't they just stay in place, they were plenty wide beforehand.

Even worse, I put on my humongous grandma bra that I mentioned a few days ago, then my cute 3/4 length polo shirt. Luckily, I was in the bathroom, so I saw what I looked like. The damn bra comes up so far, it's peaking through the slit. This is not some low cut shirt, the bra comes up so high it sort of looks like I'm wearing a cami under the shirt. Except that the cami is ugly white and has a little bow on it like your first training bra. So I feel like I'm 80 and 12 all at the same time, and a beach ball at that. Ugh. Jamie Foxx has a song dedicated to pregnant women on his cd (so he claimed on Regis) about how we still got it. I think I need to buy it and make it my new theme song. Anything to convince me that I'm not about to float away like Aunt Marge